November 16, 2010

Collaborate....not compromise

My husband and I make a good team. We work well together (when we're not exhausted or hungry, that is!) and we make decisions that we're both happy with. As my husband says, we collaborate, not compromise. By definition, compromise is "a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims". Therefore, compromise insinuates that someone must adjust their claim, or principal (or style) in order to come to a middle ground. They are giving something up. Collaborate means to work with, cooperate with, one another. There is no underlying notion that you must give something up. As Nate Berkus states on his website, "you cannot persuade someone to give up their specific taste". So, when my husband didn't like this painting from Urban Barn that I LOVED, I couldn't be mad that it wasn't going to hang in our house (disappointed, yes, but

"City in Motion"

We're still trying to determine what should hang on the wall where I wanted this, but we'll collaborate.  I cannot force him to change his taste and like the picture.  If I didn't care what he thought, or if he really didn't care what went in the house, then I would buy it. In a heart beat. I love it. It's vibrant and interesting and full of life.  But I wanted his opinion on it because "when someone gives me choices, I know they are doing it because they care about me." (via Nate Berkus).

I want my husband to love our house as much as I will once the renovations are all done and it's decorated. As much as I love this painting, we'll collaborate our tastes and find something we both equally adore.

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